Tuesday, March 20, 2012

"and Spring arose on the garden fair..."

"Springtime is the land awakening. The March winds are the morning yawn." ~Lewis Grizzard
Today marks the first day of spring. I love it when the vernal equinox occurs. I thank the Lord for the changing of the seasons. The beauty of distinction. The beginning of new life. Everywhere.
Sunshine makes me overwhelmingly happy. We have been getting a lot of it lately. Between that, and the lessons the Lord has been patiently teaching me lately...well, I have no reason not to be happy. I could go on for anon about all the things I have learned in just the past few weeks....even the past several days. But I will spare that and leave it at this. Forgive. To love is to forgive. Step forward. Don't be afraid of the unknown. Trust God. Love people. See them as individuals. Pray. Praise. Call on the name of Jesus and praise Him for His redemptive power. Be still and know He is God. See the miraculous in the common. Dance if you are happy. And always notice the butterflies.
Because of some things that took place in the last few weeks, because of Scripture the Lord led me to, because of wisdom shared in an inductive study, because I finally opened my eyes for the first time in a long time and saw the true beauty of the Gospel. Because the Lord finally took my hand and said.... "Jessi. I gotcha."
My little heart swells with love for my Savior.
Spring is a beautiful season. It promises new life. New beginnings. New growth. Possibilities. Sunshine. Blue-sky days.
"And Spring arose on the garden fair, Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere; And each flower and herb on Earth's dark breast rose from the dreams of its wintry rest." ~Percy Bysshe Shelley
Praise God.
From Whom all blessings flow.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

The Sparrow

I have been long in writing another post on this blog. Partly because I have been busy. ((very busy)) Partly because I have been unmotivated to write. Partly because I have been depressed lately. Not depressed as in boo-hoo. But depressed in the sense of negative thoughts and the feeling that screams in your face "what on earth are you gonna do with your life!" Feeling empty. Feeling unloved. Un led. Weary of doing. Spinning wheels and getting what seems like nowhere.
I am tired. I have seventeen too many irons in the fire. Maybe even more. Last growing season I completely over-extended myself and my mind and body had to pay the dues. I wanted this growing season to be different. To be better. For me to be a better steward of time and sleep and gardens.
It's March now. March. Last year this time I was filled with expectancy. Expecting great things. Expecting a great year. I was filled with a joyful fervor that all who knew me could sense. I was excited about planting, about springtime, about the markets, and about whatever wonderful things a Georgia summer might bring. Magical things happen when the world is green and the weather warm.
This year I am not feeling that way. There is far less excitement. Even less expectancy. I feel like I am no farther that I was last season. I feel like I have no direction.
I feel like a tent in a wind storm that has not a single corner tied down.
I went out to the woods this morning. I sat and talked a moment with my True Lover. I told Him I want a future. I said God please help me and let me see. Lead me down the path you want me to take. He gently lifted my face towards the sun that was filtering through the trees. He reminded me that He holds my future. Even though I can't see it. I know He can. Even though I'm scared. He does not intend me to be. He asked if I could trust Him. I said I was scared. He wants me to trust Him. With my future. I told Him I am a fragile human being, weakened by a formerly broken heart, and undeserving of His blessing. I said I wanted to. He said He wanted me to. It was then that my mind went immediately to the cross. He died for me. He loved me that much. He has already taken care of my future. I have a future with Him. Why would I not trust my earthly future to Him? Perhaps one may think it petty to trust God with things concerning gardens, finances, education, and husband to a God that deals with things spiritual. I think not. He covers me with His feathers. He will take care of me. I am not alone. He will lift my head when I am down cast. He will kiss my cheek by showing me a butterfly when I feel alone. He will bring me flowers by allowing the sunflowers to bloom this summer. I am His daughter.
And even though everything within me aches and yearns for so much more. For love. For a future. I will remember. The same God that allows not a single sparrow to fall to the ground without His notice....HE will lead me into a blessed future. He is my Savior. He is my Love. He is my Everything. His eye is on the sparrow.....and I know He is watching me.