Now what do you get when you take a Southern farmgirl to auditions for a play? A mess. A very comical mess. Especially when I am the kinda person who doesn't call it an audition, but a "try-out". Oh yeah, that'll impress 'em. I have done the play in Social Circle for three years now, and I love it. The folks are very laid back and they all (almost all) are Southern. If you are not too good at dancing then they work with you, and they have a great attitude about it. Well, we just finished the play with them, so we thought we would "try-out" for another play in the area. Little did I know that I would have to sing and dance---a lot. I would have been fine if it was just the acting part, but noooooo, this was a little different than Social Circle. The folks were nice, but I won't be surprised if I do not get a part. And I'll be fine with that. First, we got in a group and they said they were going to teach us a dance. Great, this would be easy if they teach us. Sure, but not if it's ballet!! If I had known that ballet was involved, I do not think I would have been there. A Dixie Farm Girl cain't do ballet!! After all, I've never had ballet lessons. I do wrestle with my goats when I trim their hooves, but that is not what they had in mind. But I wasn't going to walk out, so I just tried the dance. They probably were hoping I would walk out, but, oh well, they'll have something to laugh about later. OK, so that was done--phew---praise the Lord!! So then we sang. Uh-huh. First as a group, then as individuals. So that was fun. Sure. I won't say too much about that. I'm fine with singing Bluegrass, anybody sounds good singing that, but what about "Big Band Numbers"??? Man!! That was over. Thank goodness! "OK, now we'll teach you guys to swing dance" the lady said. Alright, maybe I'll do pretty good at this. Uh----NO. Can somebody please show me my right foot??? Then came the script reading. YES!!! Now I was excited. A chance to redeem myself!! Uh-huh, the character I read had maybe 4 lines. Great.
I overheard the two directors saying something after I read my lines. They said "well, she does have a Southern drawl allright." Of course, I swelled with pride, but then I realized that it probably was not a good thing to them.
Well, that is what you get when you take a girl like me to a "try-out". You get a cross between Ernest T. Bass doing the Hokey Pokey, and well, a catfish fixin' to die.
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