Monday, August 15, 2011

...and God gave me flowers

Ya know how sometimes life can really be confusing? Ya know how sometimes the ordinary seems really ordinary and you just feel like you're existing? It's really hard to explain. To articulate. But I just have to share this fact.

I planted sunflowers this season with muh excitement. I love them. Always have. A lot. Well, all season I watched as the plants matured and grew, and were just about to bloom. I always looked upon them with love, with anticipation for them to finally stretch those petals and shine.

This summer has been a good summer for me. It has been joyous, exciting...and it has been solemn. It has been hard in many parts. And as much as I despise cold weather, I am ready for the season to change. For indeed, there is a time and a season for everything. But this summer has been one of growth. I have grown. I have laughed and smiled, and I have wept bitterly. I am not going to go into all the reasons and the details. There is no need for that. Suffice it to say, well, like I said, it's just been one long summer of growing. Trying. Crying. Calling out to my Savior. Him taking me by the hand and saying, "It's okay, Jessi. Just trust me." Him holding me, and whispering into my ear, "I love you." He has blessed me. He has protected me. He has been gracious, faithful; and His loving-kindness has not been exhausted.

One day I went out to Darby Farms. I was really strugging this particular day. I was trying, I really was, but I just needed to go and cry and talk to my Abba Father. I went out to the field, and I knew I had a lot of picking to do, and I remembered to myself ...."ooooh, I bet a lot of the flowers have bloomed!" (for it had been a few days since being out there)

I parked my truck in the middle of the field like always, and even before I swung my legs out of the truck door, I saw them. There they were. Stately, gentle, humble, and oh so lovely yellow---sunflowers. It was a strange sensation. I slammed the door, I threw down my harvesting baskets (for I was supossed to be picking peppers) , and I raced down to where the small regiment of flowers stood. They were beautiful. I crawled under my electric fence and came close to them. I bent one very tall one down to my face. With my eyes I absorbed its beauty. Its detail. Its intricacy. I released it and took a few steps back. I went to the next bloom. This one had more color. It looked like a gorgeous sunset. I stood back again. I looked down the row of flowers. I smiled.

The wind blew slightly, tossling my long hair over my shoulders.

I stood still. I was overwhelmed by this gift of yellow beauty.

Then it was like God reached down, put His hand on my shoulder, and said.

"See baby. These are from me. I hope you like them; I sure do love you."

Tears began to flow. I strode back to the stand of flowers, I gazed up at them through a watery gaze.

"Thank you."

Thank you so much.

This may seem different. It may even seem way too transparent. But I am a passionate and transparent person. Truth is; fact of the matter is, well, this moment was incredibly special to me. And I believe with everything within me that those flowers were a gift from my heavenly Father. Just as His word is a Love letter, well... He brought me flowers. He loves me. Enough to show me His loving-kindness and his grace through a humble stand of Sunflowers.

Thank you, Father. I love you.


The Dischers said...

What a beautiful post, Jess! You are a good writer and I appreciate your sharing your thoughts. Our Father does indeed love us and knows the desires of our hearts.

Mrs. Discher
---Beautiful sunflowers!!!

Morgan-Britney said...

Beautiful post! I love it when the Lord speaks to you like that.;)

Jess said...

Thank you Mrs. Discher. :)
Yes He sure does! We have such a loving Creator.

Thank you Morgan. You got that right! :) :)

nana and dedad said...

OH MY!!!!! what a beautiful brought tears to my eyes...your a wounderful writer!!!! and a wonderful grand-daughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love you so much and then MORE!!!!!
nana and dedad

Morgan said...

Wonderful post! I can relate to having such a summer. Yes, the Lord is so good and so faithful through the midst of it all! His protection, his grace and mercy...
Thanks for sharing!